Let's Ask Violet

I grew up with a weird taste in music.   My mother is a classically trained pianist, so I grew up with a lot of classical music.  She was also paid to play in a lot of musicals, so growing up I would listen to a lot more show tunes than the normal child.   And not the big 80’s musicals either like Les Miserables or Hair, but rather weird things like the rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar, or Little Shop of Horrors, or my favourite and first musical I ever saw My Fair Lady.  My parents were also into bands like The Who, Supertramp, Styx, Elton John, The Platters, The Beatles, and Queen, so I grew up with a lot of piano music in the house.  Also belting singers.  Musicals love their belting singers.

When I started grade school, my mom got worried when I asked for my first Spice Girls CD, mostly because she was afraid I would get stuck in the Pop charts for Pop music.  And I did for a time.  I did my time with Amanda Marshal, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilara, and all those boy bands in the 90’s.  I eventually got bored with Pop music as a whole by my later years in grade school and by grade 7 I rediscovered my now favourite band Queen, buying their greatest hits 3 disk album.   Although it was really difficult to say that your favourite band is a band that is most known for dressing up as women and having naked women ride around a track on bikes to a bunch of grade schoolers who already don’t like you.

Afterwards when I was in high school, I tried to get my friends to send me their music so I could expand my tastes.  And because I would watch a lot of Japanese Anime, I would listen to a lot of J-Pop and J-Rock.

I realized afterwards when I started dating that I would adopt the musical tastes of whomever I dated.  I think I grew out of that after a guy who liked me tried to get me to listen to Tool and would bad mouth Queen and Meatloaf.  I could never really get into it, although I don’t know if it was because I didn’t like their music or because he would bad mouth Queen.  At any rate, I kept all the music that my exs would give me because regardless of how we broke up I would like their music.

I really tried to like whole bands, but I realized that I liked single songs more than I liked bands.  It was really rare when I would find bands that I liked.  I can still count all the bands I would call my favourites on one hand.  Right now my favourite bands are Queen, an all girl Japanese rock band called Scandal, and a Japanese Pop band called LM.C.  Everything else that’s in my music library ranges from The Beatles to Meatloaf to Oasis to Reel Big Fish to Dragonforce to Tenacious D to Metric to random show tunes to random Pop songs off the top 100.

Everything just kind of comes down to what I like in a song.  I’m definitely a sucker for piano players, and a good bass will always get me going.  I can’t stand singers who don’t push their ranges, and there are a bunch of songs where I only like a certain riff in the middle of the song and nothing else.  I think I stopped caring about a lot of bands mostly because there’s just so much more to music than just liking bands.  I guess it does mirror me in a certain way.  I like a lot of songs, but a few bands.  And I guess I would call myself talented in a lot of things, but only really try in a few things.  Hopefully at one point I’ll figure out why I like S&M by Rhianna and what that says about me…

 

Anonymous asked:

So theres this guy at my school that really likes me. Hes the most popular guy at our school, he’s a flirt, and some people even think hes a man whore. I’ve known him since we were little, we’ve hung out before, but i never thought he’d all of a sudden have a HUGE crush on me. He texted me a bunch of times saying he loves me, hes turned down some of the prettiest girls in school for me, and he’s always complimenting me. I rly wanna go out w/ him, but my parents are really strict. Help?

Violet responded:

With regards to the guy you like, go out with him.  If he really is as interested as you say, then you’d be a fool not to go out with him.  You have to follow your heart.

As for your parents, try talking with them about the situation.  Strict or not, they’re your parents and they love you regardless.  Keeping an open communication with them will help them understand what you’re going through with your relationships, and it will also help them know that you’re safe.  Then they know, and you’ll know, when you have a problem and they’ll help you work together to solve it.  The old saying “Honesty is the best policy” really does come into play when talking with parents.

 

Have your own question for Violet?  Head on over to eyesofviolet13.tumblr.com and ask your own question!

I’ve found out the hard way that communicating with your significant other is probably the best thing you could ever do.  It really does help with a lot of things.  Here are some tips that will help you with communication.

 

1. Trust that your partner

This is difficult considering that if it’s a new relationship, or if someone in the relationship has been unfaithful, trust is a big issue.  However for communicating to work, you have to make sure that there’s a mutual trust with each other.  Make sure that if the topic you’re telling your partner is an uneasy one, you let them know that it’s difficult for you to express it.

 

2.  Set up ground rules when you’re being honest with each other.

Basically tell your partner when you’re telling them something how you want them to receive it.  Tell them beforehand whether or not you want advice, or for them just to listen.  I’ve had a lot of arguments because of this, and it’s better to just tell them beforehand by saying you just want them to listen to you and not interject with their advice until after you’re done.

 

3.  Don’t interrupt the person talking.

I don’t know if this bothers people, but I hate being talked over, and I hate talking over people.  If you’re on the receiving end of the conversation, wait until your partner is done their thought before speaking.  It’s easy to have a point to talk about, but a lot of the time when they’re talking to you about something, they don’t want to be interrupted.

 

4.  If telling your partner an important piece of information makes you feel uncomfortable, tell your partner right away

I’ve found that putting off something important, whether it be something that hurt your feelings or just something you want to admit to your partner, only causes problems in the long run.  If you have something important to tell your partner, make sure you talk to them about it as soon as possible.  Clearing the air and making sure your feelings are known are the best things you can do for your relationship.

 

5.  Make sure you always let your partner know your feelings, regardless of what they are.

It’s easier to fix a problem if it’s addressed.  If your partner did something that makes you upset, make sure to let them know.  However, let them know gently.  Don’t be angry at them, but let them know that you were hurt.   If your partner did something you like, make sure that you let them know so they can remember.  If you don’t tell them what makes you upset or happy, they won’t know.

 

6.  Always try your best to talk to your partner face to face.

Texting, emails, and Social Networks are probably the worst ways to communicate.  Always try and talk face to face, whether it be video chat or in person.   It may be scary, but it’s the easiest way to be honest.