Anonymous asked:

How do I get over the guilt I’ve been having after I broke up with a guy I was dating? I’ve felt miserable ever since breaking up with him even though it was my decision and I thought it was going to make me feel a lot better. I mean, I don’t regret breaking things off because he’s showed me that he isn’t capable of being my friend, let alone anything else, but I still feel guilty. Help?

Violet responded:

I think everyone who goes through a break-up has some guilt.  Mostly because, especially if you’re not the one who ended it, you feel like you’ve failed the other person.

You ended it for a reason.  You’ve even admitted it.  The thing is, you can’t help him, especially if he’s not willing to change.  You just have to live your life and be happy. You’ve taken the first step, because you’re respecting yourself to not be with someone who doesn’t treat you well.  The person you date needs to be your friend as well.  That’s why they call it a girl/boyfriend.

There’s nothing keeping you to him except yourself.  And from the sounds of it, he doesn’t sound like he’s worth it.  You have to keep telling yourself that you’re worth more than someone to treat you badly.

I also have tips on how to deal with break-ups which you can see here or here.

Don’t give up.  It does get easier.  You’ll stop feeling guilty eventually, you just have to keep at it.


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