Accepting the Friend Zone

There are a lot of people in the friend zone.  I can understand why people would want to leave it, however what’s wrong with just being a person’s friend?  Being someone’s friend is never a bad thing.  It means that they like you enough to keep you around.  That trust that a friend has with another is stronger than that of someone you date.

The connotation that the friend zone is a bad thing is just something I don’t get.  So that person doesn’t want to date you.  So what?  They still want to be your friend.  If this person makes you happy, what’s wrong with accepting being their friend?  This way you get to make them happy as well.  If you’re only friends with someone with the hope of someday dating them, then you’re not being a good friend.  You have a motive that’s driving you.  That’s not nice, and it’s unfair to the person you like as well.

Think about it this way.  You have a friend.  A really close friend.  One whom you trust implicitly.  Suddenly they tell you that they love you.  You don’t feel the same, so you tell them that you don’t have the same feelings, to be fair to them.  They tell you to piss off because you won’t date them.

How would you feel if you found out that your best friend had an ulterior motive to being your friend?  Pretty crappy I’ll bet.

I know that I’ve been friend zoned more than once in my life.  I never really took that as a bad thing.  Yes, it made me sad because I’ve wanted to date them, but at the same time, I’m glad I didn’t lose a friend because of my feelings.  Just because that someone won’t date you doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.  If they reject your friendship afterwards as well, then they weren’t really your friends to begin with.

Really it should be a win-win scenario.  If you tell them that you love them, and they love you too, congrats, you just got a relationship.  If you tell them that you love them and they say that they don’t feel the same, but still want to be friends, then congrats, you maintained your friendship.  Losing a friend is worse than losing a potential partner.

All in all, if you’re in the friend zone, don’t be upset.  It’s actually a good thing.  That person you love, may not love you the exact same way, but they do love you.  They trust you with their problems above everyone else.  They know that they can count on you to help them through any situation.  They know you’ll support them If they’re in trouble, they know exactly who to call.

Be their friend.  They love you for who you are.