Anonymous asked:

I have a question.  My question is:  What do I do?  Now, for the information.  I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for 2 years now but for almost a year of it, I have ups and downs about whether or not I truly want to be with him.  I love him and care for him greatly, but I have so many doubts and am unsure so often; while he on the other hand is so sure it’s scary.  Now there’s this other guy that I really like, 17 turning 18, but he’s more mature than my boyfriend and he can make me smile and laugh so easily.  We just click, even though we’ve only been talking for a short time.  You see, I’m only 20 and my boyfriend is my second, and I feel that I want to explore for a while before settling down.  My boyfriend is so sure about is that he wants to marry me, and sometimes I feel the same; other times I don’t and just unsure.  My question once again:  What do I do?

Violet responded:

To be honest, I think the reason why you feel unsure is because your boyfriend is so sure.  You might feel like you don’t know you love him because your boyfriend is putting his all into the relationship.  The thing is, if you’re having those thoughts, then you’re still missing something in the relationship.  If you’re looking for other guys to feel that certain spark, your boyfriend is lacking something that you need.  It’s not his fault or yours, that’s just who you are.

But if that’s the case, then it’s not fair to your boyfriend.  Being with someone when you’re looking at other guys isn’t a healthy relationship.  Talk with your boyfriend.  See if you guys can work it out first.  If you can’t, then do the best thing for him and let him go.

And before jumping to any new relationships, give yourself time to heal.  This way you can get closure to help you start with the rest of your life.


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